Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Rocker Face Off

Tonight Dry Ink Magazine celebrates its 2-year anniversary with a star-studded event at The Star Bar. Rumor has it that Scott Baio is in town and will show up to support the All Night Drug Prowling Wolves on-stage with some back up vocals.
The Wolves are reportedly super nervous about Baio upstaging their performance. The intimidation is only heightened by Baio's extensive music career, spanning back to 1982 with this record album that shot up the billboard charts. During this era, Baio reportedly received 5,000 letters a week from adoring fans.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Modern War Quartet

BREAKING NEWS ALERT! We've just been informed there's a new underground rift rising up in the ATL. And this ain't between the Crip-lantans and The Dick-haters. "The Front Room" of MJQ has declared war on "The Back Room"! Holy fucking shit!

Going in "The Front Room" has long been considered committing Hipster Hari kari. But now the F wants to revive its late '90s glory days, and it seems the only way to steal this scene is to take on "The Back Room". And what better way to do so than by leaving a note on one of those poles outside Green's Package. Our street team delivered it to our offices a few moments ago...

Dear Back Room and The Stupid Unicorn,

Y'all are bitches. We were here first. WE had the make-out room. WE ruled Brit-pop (you don't even know what that shit is). WE had that fucking hole in the girls bathroom where you could see in the guys. What do you have except douchey bands and flat ironed hair? Hmm? Fuck this shit. We hate y'all.

Love (NOT),
The Front Room


So yeah, you heard it here first. We'll keep you updated with any developments.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Local Woman Charged With Over-Feeding Pussies

Blonde Bombshell K-Hutch-Sanchez was charged in East Point this morning for over-feeding local cats in her neighborhood. Known for her fatal aggression towards these gentle creatures, local residents claimed that they weren't surprised at all to find out who was behind this sinister plot.

Hundreds of cases of Whiskas, a brand of cat food high in fat content, were seized after a thorough search of Ms. Sanchez' property and basement. An anonymous source, who gave testimony two-doors-down-on-the-left of the scene, reported over-hearing Ms. Hutch-Sanchez saying "I was trying to explode 'em!".

Locals are perplexed by such bizarre behavior. A neighborhood association meeting is scheduled for Saturday at 11 a.m. An episode of 'Celebrity Fit Club' will air immediately following.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

See The Difference?

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Nope. We didn't either.